We have a tendency to mistake “talking” for communicating and strive to cover those moments of silence with verbal flack as though it were a way of chasing relationship difficulties away.In practice though, it doesn’t matter if you can coexist in companionable silence or if you chatter away like a pair of extroverted cockatoos as long as you can express your needs clearly to one another.It doesn’t matter if making your needs clear will result in a fight; avoiding or ending a conflict doesn’t actually make a relationship stronger if nothing is resolved and frankly, some fights to happen. If you don’t have the emotional space and security to make yourself heard and be understood, then it’s time to move on.On a related note: No couple, no matter how perfectly in synch or in love they may be, can avoid fighting.But there are the occasional flare-ups that are part of every relationship and then there are the relationships where those moments of quiet aren’t tranquility, it’s the calm before the storm.When your relationship has become a never-ending string of arguments, grievances and all-out , then you’re looking at a relationship that’s gone past it’s expiration date.Maybe they can’t quite bring themselves to let go of previous arguments and they’ve been storing up slights and affronts like prize tickets from passive-aggressive games of emotional skee-ball and now they’re ready to get the giant stuffed teddy bear of I-Am-Less-Wrong-Than-You-Therefore-I-Win.
However, there comes a point when everyone needs to realize that the patient is dead and there’s no amount of CPR, couple’s therapy, lingerie, or weekend getaways that can bring it back.
After all, nobody’s a mind-reader and expecting your partner to just be able to divine your wants and needs is a one-way trip to frustration and disappointment.
However, there’s a difference between communicating and “filling the air with noise”.
At the end of the day, everything is going to stay exactly where it is because nobody’s willing to meet anyone else half way.
Hell, they’re not willing to even move a quarter of an inch.When everybody is talking but nobody’s actually connecting, you’ve got problems.