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Take it from someone whose new “friend” ran up the bar tab while keeping her purse hidden all night: Start with coffee. The sad fact is that some people are just looking for an excuse to go out with especially a naïve chump who will pick up the bill. Case in point: After connecting online and hitting it off over an extended phone conversation, I met a woman for a happy-hour drink.

She was an attractive redhead with a sparkling personality and a great smile.

Internet anonymity brings out the worst in some people, and there’s a certain amount of that in evidence on dating sites.

“Fast Freddy ‘55” may think his bad-boy behavior is secretly a turn-on for women, but he’s deceiving himself.

Here’s what I learned: If you’re looking for someone of similar interests and lifestyle, the more specific you can be upfront, the better. What was the last good book your read, or film you saw?

For instance, does “loves sports” mean you’re up for cross-country skiing and white-water rafting, or is it a declaration that every weekend is devoted to channel-surfing the pro and college games? Potential dates skimming your profile are more likely to respond to specifics.

Don’t claim to be a gourmet cook when you can barely boil water.

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This applies to women in particular, but not exclusively.Are you looking for an occasional dinner companion, a friends-with-benefits arrangement or a marriage candidate? The more clarity and candor you can muster (within the boundaries of good taste), the better.

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